What the Hills?: live blogging!

While most of you are probably unconcerned with my take on the Hills, or get your post-Hills fix from Gawker.com (I do!) I have been notified by at least one reader that she would like me to review the Hills, so here we are. Also, this is the real deal of live blogging: I am writing this as I watch!

Tonight's Hills starts off with some drama for your mama: Kristin meets up with Jade for incomprehensible reasons. She is wearing an off-the-shoulder black number, exposing a braided gold bra-strap, which I stare at covetously. Jade tells Kristin to "go back to wherever it is you came from," to which Kristin retorts that Jade is a bitch and walks out. I am left pondering: who pays for the Grey Goose vodka soda that Kristin ordered?

Next, Lo meets Kristin for lunch. Kristin is now wearing a black blazer and a huge red ring. I decide to do a blog entry dedicated to her style choices in the near future. Lo earns her $10k/episode salary by asking a leading question about Kristin's lunch with Jade.

Brody then meets with Jade who wants to get back together with him even though "he's been acting like a jerk."

[Commercial break]

Kristin now meets up with Brody at a swanky restaurant. Brody is wearing a v-neck. I disapprove. Brody confesses that he met up with Jade and that he wants to work things out with her, saying,"I love the girl." Kristin, obviously phased by this rejection, saves face by telling Brody he can do better and that she doesn't think it will work out.

[filler scene of Heidi and Spencer]

The episode concludes with Kristin announcing to Stacy the bartender/her new roommate that "I hate everybody." (I feel you there, K-Cav!). She then reveals that Justin Bobby called her and plays a voice mail of him announcing through choked emotion that he "ended everything with Audrina." Kristin and Stacy decide to go to Vegas, because Vegas fixes everything.

End Scene.

P.S. Scenes from next week show Justin Bobby in bed with Kristin. What a teaser!